You’ve been dumped. Or fired. Or shunned.
That hurts, doesn’t it.
If you’re like I used to be, you are mad about that.
How dare he?
How could she?
Why would they?
And even……
**** them, then. Followed by social media stalking (if you haven’t been blocked) feverishly searching for something about their lives that shows karma has caught up with them.
Lord knows I have been dumped and shunned like it was my job.
Because you see, I don’t try to piss people off… it’s just my gift.
I’ve found that the more transparent I am, the more dialed in to my own goals and the more uncompromising on my own well-being I am, the more people who don’t actually have my best interests in mind loathe me.
But there are plenty of reasons people have purged me from their lives. Even, sometimes, a person I thought was very close to.
Even people I am related to.
Here are some of those reasons :
1. POLITICS. Because “tolerance” doesn’t mean tolerant of my beliefs. Lol
2. His new, much younger wife hated me long before we ever even met. One of us had to go soooo….
3. I said or did something really stupid, and an apology was not accepted.
4. He found someone hotter and cooler than me.
5. What I thought was a minor disagreement, was a deal breaker for them.
6. Sometimes I’m left with absolutely no idea why I’ve been purged.
What are some reasons you’ve purged someone from your life? What are some reasons you’ve been purged yourself?
Want to know what I only recently realized about the real reason all purges take place?
Once you understand this, it will be impossible for you to be mad at anyone who dumps you:
Your purpose in each other’s lives has been fulfilled, and it’s time to let go.
That’s it.
As brutal, embarrassing, hurtful, or cold as it may feel, that’s what it all comes down to.
We don’t have to feel that way ourselves. We can be surprised or confused, or hurt. But when you allow enough space to grow, when you allow yourself some deep breaths and some perspective, you realize that you’ve let people go, too, before they thought it was time. You’ve said goodbye or ghosted people who were not ready for that goodbye, because that’s what you needed to do for yourself, or they were a page that had to be turned in order to write that next chapter in your life.
Sometimes, we are that page that needs to be turned in someone else’s book, in order to write their next chapter.
It’s hard to be mad about that, because when we truly care about someone we want what’s best for them, even if that’s hard to give - even if it means what’s best for them is purging us.
I swear, this epiphany changed everything for me.
Past grudges I didn’t even know I was still holding on to, were lifted. I felt instantly lighter without changing anything in my life except this belief.
People I’ve been so mad at, whose memories were always accompanied with bitterness or sorrow, are now people whose time in my life I am grateful for - even though they purged me.
(Well, okay, in full disclosure, there is one person whose time in my life I am not sure I will ever feel anything but regret about - but that’s it!)
This new outlook is the gift I did not know I was going to give myself this Christmas. It did not come wrapped in a beautiful package. It came wrapped in something the opposite of that. But I love it anyway.
I went from holding on to bitterness, shame, anger, and hurt, to gratitude, just like that.
Life is messy. I’ve been knocked to my knees more times than I can count. And I have been blessed with a string of people that were there to help me get back up. People that shared laughs and tears and adventures and heartbreaks with me, before we drifted apart or one of us purged the other.
I am so grateful for each and every one of them (or almost each and every one lol). And I would love to believe that when they go back and read the chapters of their lives that I was in, they wouldn’t have wanted it written any other way.
Wherever I go from here it will be because of the people who have been there for me along the way.
I hope you give yourself this gift this year, too.
Even if it’s wrapped in the ugliest package - open it.
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